"jariten1781" (jariten1781)
09/07/2014 at 18:15 • Filed to: None
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"jariten1781" (jariten1781)
09/07/2014 at 18:15 • Filed to: None | 7
| 8 |
So a door-to-door salesman from this company stopped by yesterday and it was such an abnormal experience I decided to type it down for posterity.
It's around 11am and I'm watching the DVRd F1 qualifying and hear a knock on the door. It's been a busy morning in my neighborhood as some political people, a pair of students in a marching band, and some Boy Scouts have already paid calls asking for signatures or fund raising or whatever.
I go open the door and it's this big 'ol sweaty dude in a green polo. He seems pleasant enough at first and compliments my ancient Labrador so he gets some plus points there. Then comes the pitch "How would you like to never have to clean your wheels again?" So as normal, I stop him there and tell him that I don't buy or sign anything at the door but if he wants to drop off a brochure and leave contact info I'd be happy to look through it when I have a chance. This is normally a good tactic, but not that day.
Flip switches and big dude puffs up and goes "What the fuck man, you don't even have the decency to give me the time of day? I'm out here sweating my ass off. I'm running all over this neighborhood and assholes like you are why my daughter is going hungry." Well that's 0-WTF in about 2 seconds.
Anyhow, I tell him "Don't take it personally man, I just don't want to waste either of our time."
He sort of deflates and calms down and sort of begs to let him show me how this revolutionary product. I figure, what the hell, I'll let bubba go through his pitch so I don't starve his daughter or whatever. Opens his notebook which has a bunch of pictures poorly printed from what looks like a 15 year old inkjet.
So the first product is this thing:
It's just a dust shield to go outside your caliper. I offhandedly mention that wouldn't really work for me since I already get brake fade while flogging and it'd be a pretty distinct heat trap. He then tells me 'that's a rumor'. (Note, I'm not really sure how it could be a rumor since I thought of it on the spot...but I digress).
Shuffling through his slightly smeared printouts he pulls out a picture of an SLS. "Mercedes uses steel wheels with hubcaps which allow less airflow than these and they're designed for the autobahn and they have no heat issues!" Now, maybe MB still sells some cars with hubcaps, I don't know, but I'm pretty sure none of the current SLSs were sold that way. I just let him go on.
His next point is that some people are concerned because they like the looks of their painted calipers, but not to worry they come in a number of stylish colors! (see topshot). I suppose having dust shields that make you look like you have purple drum brakes is a style for someone...
I never mention that this would do nothing for mud and road grime.
After asking me about 100 times if I buy cleaning products then telling me I never would have to again he finally realizes that I'm 100% not buying these brake shields and moves on to his next product.
These things!, I know these things. He starts to tell me about how under inflated tires cause tire wear, poor gas mileage, etc etc etc (if you're hear I'm sure you've heard it all before) and how these can make sure you're always properly inflated. I tell him that I don't really need them as I'm pretty vigilant checking my tires and all our DDs have TPMS anyway.
"But what if your TPMS breaks and you don't have a tire gauge?" he blurts. I'm just thinking well...what if your cheap valve stem pressure gauge breaks and bleeds off my air. "You have to see it in action".
I tell him, I'm good...we had these on our farm trucks and they're a fine product but I don't need them. He asks me when this was and I let him know it was like 20 years ago. "Oh no, these didn't exist back then, you don't know what you're talking about...just let me show you". Well, they did, and being told that I didn't know what I was talking about finally broke my patience.
I thank him for his time and tell him I'm not interested. He goes "I'm just going to show you this one more thing" and starts trundling towards my driveway.
"Hey, we're done here and don't touch my cars". Well, that apparently wasn't (or was it?) the right thing to say because he flips back into irrational mode. Slams his notebook to the ground and says "Would you rather I touched you".
Whoa, wasn't really expecting that. I just ask him to pick his stuff up and leave or I'm calling the cops...I had let that go way too far. He breathes heavy a few times then bends over and picks his stuff up and....wishes me a 'blessed day' then heads down the street. At least his parting gesture was nice I guess.
Now get this, I don't even think he was an official reseller of these things. None of his pictures were branded. The website wasn't anywhere to be found and his order page he showed me to 'prove' that all my neighbors were buying was just a yellow legal pad. I'm guessing he picked a ton of them up at an auction or something. I had to search around for a bit to even find the real site.
TLDR: If you're a sketchy door-to-door salesguy selling questionably useful products don't tell people they're starving your daughter, insult them, and then threaten them... It's not a good sales strategy and it won't help you move product.
GhostZ
> jariten1781
09/07/2014 at 18:22 |
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I think it's a major sign of a failing company that they're doing door-to-door. (although what you said about him probably buying a ton of them and needing to get rid of them could be right). With today's technology that has to be the least efficient way to sell products, unless that guy is working purely on commission, which I'm pretty sure is illegal.
Door-to-door sales are dangerous, costly, and rarely ever work. They were designed SPECIFICALLY to sell bad products to housewives and the elderly who could resist an advertisement (often times didn't own a TV) but couldn't resist a nice man showing them something. That era is over.
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jariten1781
> GhostZ
09/07/2014 at 18:23 |
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I put my suspicions in the second to last paragraph. I think the guy bought up a bunch of their product and wasn't an official rep.
ShelbyRacer78-Fusion Modifier
> jariten1781
09/07/2014 at 18:25 |
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Brake dust shields like that are junk, all they do is create more heat and burn up pads and fluid faster.
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GhostZ
> jariten1781
09/07/2014 at 18:26 |
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Yeah, I edited my reply after re-reading that.
Conan
> jariten1781
09/07/2014 at 18:46 |
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Some of those tactics may well be illegal in your state. I do believe there are cases where door to door sales can still be appropriate (security systems, so on). Nothing about this was appropriate.
jkm7680
> jariten1781
09/07/2014 at 18:48 |
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Jeez, those things look ugly as sin also.
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jariten1781
> Conan
09/07/2014 at 18:53 |
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I have zero problems with door-to-door salesman for the most part. I did cold-call telephone sales in a previous life (feel free to hate me now) so, if anything, I have sympathy...but yeah, this guy went way beyond anything reasonable.
Arben72
> jariten1781
09/07/2014 at 18:59 |
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You can mess with me, but god help you if you touch my cars. You always find these slime balls at gas stations, and they never understand "Get away from my car" til I put myself into aggressive Eastern European mode who might make you go missing. Pulling off an accent I don't really have and yelling "I told you motherfucker, don't touch my car!" usually does the trick. How the hell do they think it's ok to try and spray shit on some strangers car before they even say you can.